Random babble. + Tomorrow's plan.

I feel blank.
Not liking this feeling much.
For once, I don't just feel like eating a little, but nothing.
I actually FEEL like starving.
But I've had dinner.
As I sit here, I feel it weigh my gut down.
Even just typing/thinking that makes me feel woozy in the stomach.
Looked at a heap of thirspiration pictures earlier.
Was good.

I feel fat.
Not liking this feeling much.

I feel lonely and heartbroken.
Not liking this feeling much.

See a pattern yet?
Reoccurring trait?
Ha ..

I have so much work to do for school tomorrow.
Can't focus.
Not liking that either!!

S a v e  m e .
I'm dying here.


Upsides :-)
Won sport today.
Not much else really.
How sad haha...


Sorry for being boring today.
Just feel so dragged out.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to stay down to something like 200c.

Breakky:     50mL soy milk 19c
Recess:       Peppermint tea, 0c
Lunch:        140g fruit purree 79c
Afternoon:  Shit load of water 0c
Dinner:       Whatever the hell I'm served. Tiny portion.

That is 98c. I'm aiming at drinking 3L of water tomorrow. Howelse will I feel even remotely full on liquid+mush? haha

This is getting fucking serious compared to ever before.
I get panic-y around food now.
Not enough for people to notice: I have a bloody good poker face so I've been told.
But far out, on the inside, I'm screaming and stressing.

Today was a failure. High calorie.
To take a guess... 1900c. Probably a mountain more...
Oh well. Can't do a stuff about it now. So tomorrow will be like WHAM to the metabolism.

Love ♥