Worked it out..

I've always been an independant person.
So when things get tough, I deal with it myself and come out stronger.

It all feels a lie.
I'm a mess.
I'm failing english... My teacher even rang my Dad today...
[I'm supposed to be good at it... have been in the top class for the whole of high school.]
I'm not strong at all.

The family only sees me being touchy and lazy with school work...
They don't stop to think that maybe there's something wrong going on inside my head.

Suicidal thoughts.. not going to go through with any of them. But the fact that they are there...
Depression? Pretty sure... *sigh*

Was talking to a friend last night. First time I've opened up to someone about how I'm not coping.
She was helpful, but even then.. she can only do so much.

So when I have so few people to turn to, it's food I'm turning to for comfort. I don't like it.. but I really have lost all self control.

I've lost everything that once protected me.. my hard shell has melted into a stupid mess, and I'm tangled in it.

F a r  o u t .