The tea fast was going so well.
Then had dinner.
I hadn't felt a single pang of hunger All Day. Not kidding.. it was amazing.
Made the fast so much easier.
The second I smelt dinner cooking, pang pang pang.
Ate too much.
Feel bloated.
Feel ashamed of my mouth for letting so much in.
Not allowed to go to youth tonight.
Was going to go out to dinner with 2 girls I went to primary school with tomorrow night.
Mum said no to both.
Part of me doesn't want to waste away because of how badly that would hurt her, but right now the stupid teenage hormones are screaming for me to rebel. The EDNOS part of me is just wanting to take over. Completely.
After my shower today, after going for that jog with my friend, I dried my hair and got onto the scales naked, curious to know how much my empty body weighs.
67.25kg.
It's approxiamate as our scales are not digitial.. really wanting to get some though!!!
But regardless of accuracy, that's the lowest I've been since January.
I feel change. This is the guiltiest I've ever felt after eating. Ever. It hurts, like my heart has been broken.
EDNOS is getting stronger.
I'm at the point where I just want it to consume me, pick the meat of the bones and spit the bones back out for me to live in.
Tomorrow I have netball and umpiring. Should be good for the fatness-issue.
So tired.. I guess a fast does that to you, ayy?
I'm thinking that on Sunday, drink some water and then go for a run, or at least a lengthy jog. Will eat minimally if at all. Tea and I are becoming better friends by the day! The only calories in it I need to worry about are the milk and sugar if I have any, which isn't much :)
In a putting foul mood, so I'm thinking I'm going to go pee and then weigh to see the damages after dinner has had time to settle, pack my bad for tomorrow, and then do some exercises.
I hate my thighs.
So, so much.
-sigh-
Best of luck and love to everyone, xxx
Friday, August 6, 2010
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1 comments:
Ugh thighs are just the most infuriating body part, they refuse to get skinny!
Agh I used to do that all the time too, I would have something like 50 calories all day, and then at dinner I would wind up having 800. It's so annoying because you're so close to having an amazing day, and you mess it up at the last second! It's hard living with parents who cook amazing meals for you, and it's even harder when you have to sit down and eat all your meals with them.
Don't worry about it, focus on the positives, you're at your lightest weight ever!! One meal won't kill you and it sounds like the exercise you're going to do is going to more than compensate for it :)
Stay strong!! You're doing great!
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